Elaborately Plain
by Howlitzer
Summary: Didn't think she could be so flawless. Suppose there was a catch, what would it be?


a/n: Another thing I decided to try out. I actually bit the idea from another story I read, _Never Good With Introductions_ by YogaForever. So check that one out, I have it linked somewhere in my profile (favorites I believe it is) and it's a great read. So hope you enjoy.

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><p>I almost could not believe it. She was at a local club one night and said she thought I was interesting! Me! Well, she'd really be impressed when I went all out tonight.<p>

I couldn't believe it…I was going on a date with Amy Rose. Super-successful, total bombshell…

"Hey."

That smile of hers hits me like a thousand light bulbs. I recover long enough to open the passenger's side door of my Diablo and allow her to step in, her shimmering red dress catching her every curve. I drop the roof back as we drive, letting the cool night air hit us as we speed down the streets of the city.

"This is nice," she says in that sweet voice of hers. Oh, she smells wonderful, like strawberries.

"I'm not wearing too much perfume, am I?"

"No, no. It's very nice, just the right amount." I wasn't lying, at least. She said she loved honesty.

"Thanks." Another million-watt smile. I almost swoon before remembering that I still have to get us to the restaurant. Classy and upscale, just the way she would like it.

"Right this way, sir." They know my face; I come up here all the time. Obviously, they would know her as well. We are being escorted to our table for two, and my heart is beating through my chest. God, she is gorgeous…it's taking everything I have not to just stop and stare at her.

After what seems like an eternity, we get to the table. I pull out her seat, and she thanks me as she sits down. I take my seat across from her, and we order from the menu. Two salads to start, of course, and a fine wine. She lets me choose.

"Bring me the best you have," I say confidently. The maitre'd nods and leaves us to our devices as we wait.

"Looks like it'll be a fun night," she says with a smile. I cannot stop just drinking in her beauty.

"It should be," I reply. "This is just about the best restaurant in town."

"I'll bet. Looks ritzy. I haven't been to a lot of these places before."

"Really? I would think that with your status…"

"Nah," she says with a wave of her hand. "I was never so fussy about _ambience_, you know? I'm kind of a simple girl."

"But no less charming than any other," I add.

"Why, thank you. That's very sweet," she says. I can feel my heart melting inside of me…she is so _perfect_ that it hurts.

Our salads arrive, along with our wine…ah, perfect. Just what I expected.

"Merci," I say, taking the bottle and opening it. I pour her a glass, then myself.

"To a good time," she says, raising her glass.

"To a good time," I reply, clinking my glass against hers. She sips her wine and nods in approval.

"Nice. You know, this wine reminds me of…what was it. Right, the grapes that Knuckles had growing on the island."

"Really, now?"

"Really. You ever had fifteen hundred year old wine before?"

"I have not. How is it?"

"I literally tripped out after one glass. It was that good…he didn't let me have any more for a while, but…I should have you try some. Seriously, it's _amazing_."

"I'll make sure to remind you," I say with a smile.

We talk over the rest of our dinner about various subjects, such as art, music, and fashion…Amy is so incredibly interesting and eloquent! She speaks in a way that no man could ignore, has a heavenly laugh, and makes the most adorable expressions. How is this woman still single? What man could possibly have rejected this angel on earth?

Ah, right…there is one man. Though to call _him_ a man would be a terrible stretch…

"What do you see in him?"

"In who?" she asks, startled by my question.

"Sonic."

"Hm. Well…"

"Forgive my rudeness, but that fellow is a boor. He has constantly mistreated you, run away from you, and outright avoided you without explanation."

"Mm."

"He makes no attempts to apologize, is a womanizer, and has no regard for the laws which all of us citizens must abide by."

"Ah."

"He is uncivilized, uncultured, and disrespectful of societal standards, arrogant, rude, awkward, and thoughtless. He…he is someone who our youth supposedly look up to, yet he sets no proper examples for behaviour and disregards education entirely. He says that 'school is cool' but has yet to get his high school diploma. Can he not practice what he preaches? How can he be an advocate for health when he eats nothing but junk food constantly, on television and in printed media?"

"Mm-hm."

"He…" I stop as Amy swishes around the wine in her glass. Her expression is unchanged, but…there seems to be something different about her. As if the air around her has changed.

"Sonic is…a lot of things. He's probably not the greatest guy if you look at his faults exclusively. Which a lot of _you_ people tend to do."

What…'_you_ people'? What did that mean?

"You look confused." She sighs and sips from her glass. "See…it's always like this. I take up a guy's offer for dinner, or a movie…usually it's a movie because we get more opportunities to screw around in the back seats, but some guys like it in the back seat of their Maserati. Hey, location's nothing to me," she says with a shrug. Ignoring my jaw dropping, she drinks the last of her wine and motions to me for more. I oblige her and fall stiffly back into my seat.

"Thanks. Anyways, they usually bore me before they get past second base, so…eh. Usually nothing cookin'. A few of you snobby types actually got a little further, you know…if you put your Sonic-bashing on hiatus for long enough." A pause. "Almost thought you were a little different. Well, fool me twenty-three times…"

"I…don't understand. Sonic mistreats you-"

She wags a finger at me. "Tut, tut. Sonic does _not_ mistreat me. He's never mistreated me. In fact, he's been honest with me the whole time we've known each other. Listen, I've got my charms," she says while pushing up her breasts, "but they don't always work on a man. And sometimes I'm grateful for that."

"He...ignores you…"

"Oh, _please_. God, it's always this one, right? Do you know how many times I've shouted that I wanted to have his babies? In public? While they were broadcasting, live on national television? He should have shunned me for that, had me dragged out to a back alley and shot, _something_. But you know what he did? He put his palm to his face, yelled back across the street that he was super-embarrassed and just put on a smile and shrugged it off while everyone had a good laugh. He never said anything after that, never made me feel like crap, even though I do all these years later when I think about it…"

"B-but…"

"But nothing," she says, rolling her eyes. "He's never turned his back on me when I needed him, never looked down on me or anyone else. It doesn't matter how much you have or how little…it's all the same to him. Yeah, he might be a _boor_, according to you. But I love that boor with all my heart, and he's my best friend in the whole world."

I'm stunned. What do I say to that? This…this amazing, wonderful girl is _defending_ the paragon of civil unrest and anarchy? How? Why? It didn't make any kind of sense at all!

She sips from her glass again. "You've got a lot of things, you know. Education, social status, family, friends in high places, money out the wazoo, all of that. It's interesting that none of you _cultured_ fellows are missing the one thing that Sonic has."

"W-what could that be?" I'm genuinely curious. What could that buffoon possibly have that I didn't…?

She drains her glass as she rises, placing her credit card on the table. Her strawberry perfume rushes through me as she leans toward my ear.

"He has fun. And girls…they just wanna have it too, you know," she says breathily. She kisses me on the cheek and strides away, her lipstick heavy on my skin.

"Dinner's on me, babe…I'm going to see an old friend of mine."


End file.
